I have an issue with socks. Not that they exist, but that they don’t fit my feet.

Here’s a bit of a story that has… nothing to do with socks. Years (25 or so) ago, I was to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of two friends. My task was to buy shoes of a specific color, with no other requirements. Well, as a number of people back in the day can attest, for me shoe shopping was as important as a quest for the Holy Grail. I no longer suffer near as much from this affliction, but just don’t get in the way when I’m in a shoe store. Just saying. Anyway, the wedding was several states away, so I was unable to shop with the bride or others in the wedding party. A local friend went with me to the mall and, well, game on. After a time, I finally found a pair I liked and while I was trying them on and doing what one does, my friend said, “You should be wearing a size 7 or 8.” I said, “Well, I know, but I can’t help that I have small feet.” (I wear a size 6.) She said, “No, no. I mean in clothing!”

She meant no harm. I was of an average size, I wore size 11-13/10-12 at that time, and the juxtaposition between my small feet and “regular” sized person was all she was referring to, albeit in a bit of an ‘ouch’ sort of way. (We won’t go into details about the clothing size I wear now… No, no. Move along. Nothing to see here.)

The shoes were pretty cute, by the way…

But I digress.

Socks. Who in this world decided that a woman’s sock size could be basically a one size fits all? Because I’m here to tell you they don’t. At all. I recently got some new socks for an upcoming trip to a colder climate – although after the past week or so, those warm wool socks have come in handy right here at home – and, as usual, the darn things are too big. The size indicator said, “Fits sizes 4-10.” Uh huh.


Ever since my feet stopped growing, socks have been an irritation. The heel always, ALWAYS lands at the back of my ankle. This is not comfortable. Were I to set the heel of the sock at my heel, there’s inevitably an extra inch plus of unused sock at the end of my toes. I’ve checked into children’s socks, as I can also wear children’s size 4 shoes. The problem with this is that they’re… cute.

#firstworldproblems, as they say. Oh, well. Maybe someday more sock makers will start going with a small-medium-large set up. One can dream.

Carry on.

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One Response to Socks

  1. lgrinaker says:

    Hilariously wonderful, my friend; AND touching. How did you manage THAT?

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